Last night at Bible Study, we read through 1 John 4. Had some good discussions on false teachers, love, and dislike/hate. We noted how hard verse 20 can be in action:
I wrote this piece back in 2014. Four years later, I still do not think that this is healthy situation, no matter the hobby. – Bryan
This tale is as old as 1989.
Boy meets girl. Girl dislikes boys hobby. Boy gives up hobby for girl. Girl gives up nothing. Swap the genders; swap the roles. Rinse. Wash. Dry.
I have known countless guys who have given up their favorite hobby due to a spouse or girlfriend disapproving– I am sure that this is true for the female species as well. Once upon a time, these guys enjoyed playing video games. They used them to drop stress levels, rest, and relax. For some reason though, chemistry, the alignment of the stars, who knows, they end up coupling with someone who disapproves/looks down upon their hobby. So they have to quit, have to walk away from something they love, to be in love.
I just don’t get it. If you are in a loving relationship, your spouse or girlfriend should accept you for who you are. They shouldn’t be out to change fundamental parts that make up you. Sure, your bad habit of tossing clothes on the floor may need to be corrected, because let’s face it, your mom always cleaned up after you. Too personal? Sorry.
Video games are often seen as a less mature hobby than following a team of guys in tight fitting clothing. Huh? How is it that working on cars, following a sports team, or going hunting are somehow more respectable and less “little boy”? A hobby is a hobby. Video games are no worse than stamp collecting. Except that unlike a stamp collection, video games deal with:
- Complex realities
- Connecting players through interdependent activities
- Challenging players with complex decision making
My wife has been accepting of my hobby from the get go. She encourages me to sit down and play games. She realizes that I often use video games to de-stress. As long as I am not playing World of Warcraft (the marriage killer), I’m golden. This does not mean that I play games every day of the week. Gaming for me, married, with a kid, looks more like a couple of hours a week. Some nights, my wife even joins me. I’ve always appreciated that about her. She loves me for who I am.
I am tired of those around me feeling guilt, having to change, just to conform to the person they love. If you are in a loving healthy relationship, your significant other will understand the healthy hobbies you chose to pursue.
Note: My friend Scott reminds me that the picture I painted above is painted by an individual who is loving, mature, and self-controlled–most of the time. Video games, as with any hobby, can be distorted and abused in the hands of an undisciplined individual. In order not to feed into the video game stigma your wife/girlfriend might view the hobby through, Scott suggests setting some ground rules:
- Be mindful of your wife/girlfriend, even though the game demands attention.
- Always be ready to pause. Pretty much everything is more important than your next in-game checkpoint, so put the controller down if you need to.
- Tell her how long you intend to play – and stick to the plan.
No matter the hobby, communication and respect are foundational to building healthy relationships. I want to encourage you to let go of any video game guilt you might carry, set some healthy ground rules, and game on.
My church has been hosting a time of renewal with Life Action Ministries. One of our speakers last night encouraged us to write down 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Every time the verses mention the word love, we were instructed to write our names there instead:
4 Bryan is patient and kind. Bryan is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. Bryan does not demand his own way. Bryan is not irritable, and he keeps no record of being wronged. 6 Bryan does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Bryan never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
In our relationships, as Christians, people should see Christ in us.
Putting my name into those verses is a great reminder of how I should be living. Our speaker further encouraged us to write down the verses on a card and place them where we can see them everyday. Reading them to remind us that we are to be “little Christs”.
“It’s indicative of God’s grace that he gave permission before restriction. He said, “You can eat from every tree except one.” How many trees were there? Hundreds? Thousands? Adam and Eve could eat from all of them except one; the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Think about that. The odds were stacked in their favor. God wasn’t trying to trap them. He didn’t give them impossible commands and then laugh when they failed. He made it as simple and straightforward as possible. He set them up for success. He gave them the world, but he gave them limits too.” – How’s Your Soul? (Judah Smith)
Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst is a book to help you take the rejection life throws at us and give to God who is waiting for us. This is not a self help book that promises relief in three easy steps. Lysa’s points on how rejection affects life will hit home with most people. She makes the book personal, sharing feelings that are genuine and relatable.
This book is not designed to be read in one sitting. It is designed to be read a chapter at a time so that the thoughts of the author and Biblical truths can be digested into your life. This is a book you put down to think, pray, and sometimes cry over. Yet at the same time, you’ll want to keep reading because you found the topic so engaging.
Rejection hurts and can cause thoughts to grow that are not true.
We have all been rejected at some point in our life. Rejection hurts and can cause thoughts to grow that are not true. Not only did I learn how to deal with past rejection and how to stop rejection pain from taking root. But I also learned that by extending the same love God gives to me, to others, I can help stop the cycle of rejection.
After reading Uninvited, I have thought differently about the things that are said and done to me. I have thought about my own actions and words toward not only myself but also my friends and family. Uninvited is definitely a book I would recommend to others, be prepared with a highlighter.
God’s love isn’t based on me. It’s simply placed on me. And it’s the place from which I should live…loved.
I was given a copy of this book for review. All opinions are my own.
The Aetherlight Bible is tool, a companion piece meant to help players navigate through the fog. Presented in the New Living Translation, this Bible is easy to read for both children and adults. Built with the desire to connect players of The Aetherlight: Chronicles of the Resistance with Biblical truth, The Aetherlight Bible features:
- A soft cover and overall size that feels sturdy and fantastic to hold
- Inserted pages that tie in-game characters with their Biblical counterparts
- A Dictionary/Concordance
- A 365-Day Reading Plan
- Words of Christ in scarlet
- Footnotes, in the Old Testament, that point players towards Christ
- And my favorite part, at the bottom of some pages, Aethasian sayings such as:
Build for others what you would want them to build for you.
From the outside cover to the smallest details found inside, The Aetherlight Bible is a video game tie-in done right. Each page, from the watermarks to the quotes, show that much time and love went into the creation of this Bible.
However, I dislike how the page numbers are situated near the spine of the book. But, I realize that this formatting choice could force readers to actually learn the Books of the Bible. Clever.
I recommend this Bible to the hardcore players of The Aetherlight: Chronicles of the Resistance and to those not familiar with the game.
Parents, grandparents, this is the Bible you want to buy your kids/grandkids.
The Aetherlight Bible’s cover is inviting. Almost begging the reader to pick it up, read it, and embrace the adventure.
I was given a copy of this book for review. All opinions are my own.
Jimmy Barclay was going through changes. Or as Mr. Whittaker put it, he was going through “adolescence”. Jimmy was growing up. He noticed that:
- His voice was changing
- He was angry at people for no reason at all
- He was in love, with Connie Kendall
As we listened to “Coming of Age”, an episode of Adventures in Odyssey, Tabitha and I laughed. There is something surreal about listening to an episode on puberty with your seven-year-old in the car. We were driving home from vacation. The boy was in the backseat, running a high fever, and had no clue about what was plaguing Jimmy.
I told Tabitha that when Wyatt starts to go through puberty, I am going to make him listen to this episode. Odyssey can explain everything. Poof! An awkward conversation bites the dust. Who wants to talk to their parents about changes anyways?
Let this be a lesson to all parents: Media is a fantastic substitute for all major life conversations.
This important lesson is provided to you by JohnnyBGamer, tongue-in-cheek.