Lack of Communication at Work

Lack of communication slowly rots an organization from within. No one knows what is going on nor what anyone is doing. The silence invites questions of:

What is going on?
Do we have enough work?
What is everyone working on?
Am I doing a good job?
Am I going to be fired or let go?

Without knowing what projects are coming up, without proper feedback, the employee’s themselves rot from within. A once useful instrument dulled from a lack of use.

For more than a few months now, I’ve sat in the midst of a non-communicative environment. No one seems to know anything except for the upper management. The “upper management” in my case is two bosses. They have meetings with one another; they know what work items are coming up. Their communication however is not being shared with the rest of the company (me and another employee).

This lack of communication has made my workplace stressful. At the end of the day, I’m exhausted from being in the environment… and I take that home with me.

I long to feel creative again. To take on creative projects. To write.

There is the saying: “Fake it until you make it”.

I’m done faking it.

I’m just trying to make it.

And the lack of communication in my workplace is rotting the company from within… and my soul.

*Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

Lost the Plot

In between craziness at work, change at church, and the unknown of adoption, I have to admit that I have been thinking a lot:

Reassessing my career (updating my resume)
Trying to figure out what God is saying after my church voted 93% in favor of our interim pastor
Wondering how long it will take to be placed with a child (we keep hearing 2 years)

With all these swirling thoughts, I got thinking about JohnnyBGamer. I love how the site has morphed into more of a personal blog for me. I especially need a place, right now, to work through thoughts and share ideas. But I got thinking about the idea for a gaming-based ministry, God gave me long ago. An idea that never included:

Articles on discernment
Answering questions such as: Can Christians do ____________?
Finding a spiritual bridge between whatever game I’m playing and connecting it back to a spiritual truth (no matter how weak the link)
Justifying why I’m playing (insert game here)

I think I got lost somewhere between the idea of being a combo of a Christian Gamespot mixed with what would later become GameChurch. Somewhere along the way, I got wrapped up in running a Christian video game Facebook group (which I stepped down from last year) and wanting to compete with GameChurch (which has since become something else). I forgot that God never called me to be this online thing. He always has shown me that it is more about building relationships than playing games. The games are simply a gateway to making friends and having a conversation. People are the focus.

I’m not sure what any of the above means moving forward. But I am thankful to be able to put into words what has happened over the years. I lost the plot.

The Electrical Panel

A few weeks ago, we had an air conditioning company do some work in the office. While fixing a circuit breaker, they forgot to put the electrical panel back on the box. Instead of letting me put the two screws in, that hold the panel in place, I was told to call the company back out. I was mortified.

The technician the company sent out was 115% understanding. Took him less than a few minutes to put the panel back together.

I get the principal of holding a company to their work… but I wonder where the line of entitlement and laziness meet. Maybe I’m too practical? Either way, I say screw it.

Fatherhood has taught me forgiveness

The whole concept of a dad can be challenging for some men. Many have grown up without having a dad in their life. Some of us even had dads that had to work outside of the home, for days on end, to support the family. Anger, resentment, and even a quest to fill that dad-shaped hole can occur.

I am thankful for the men that God brought into my life, as my dad was out working to provide for our family.

I am thankful for my Grandpa Ayers. For him sharing his love for the outdoors, radio controlled everything, and tabletop games. For showing me and my brother that slingshots, knives, and guns are cool toys (when properly respected) to play with. I’ll never forget our late nights playing Chess OR my Grandpa letting my brother and I build our own fires (FIRE!). His unexpected death at 60 years of age still haunts me in some ways. I have found that grief is ever changing but forever there. I am thankful for the time he invested in my siblings and I; thankful for the time that I got to spend with him.

For the longest time, I retreated into negative emotions concerning my own dad. Unable to see the bigger picture of what it means to provide… unable (still unable) to see through the family fog-of-war of the example his dad left him with when it came to interacting with family. For years, even as an adult, I’ve wanted more from my dad… But I’ve learned that whatever it is I have wanted from him, I have built into my relationship with Wyatt. Letting the past go, letting anger go, has allowed me to see my dad for who he is instead of who I wanted him to be.

My dad, Steven, is an amazing guy. He is funny, insightful, and a hard worker. The older I get, the more I appreciate him AND realize how much I am like him. I wish I had been able to push past what is deemed, in Christian circles, as a “father wound” sooner. Arriving at a point where I can accept my dad for who he is is priceless. Being able to see the bigger picture, where other men were allowed to step in and teach me and my siblings, and not resent that, is liberating.

All of the above to say, Father’s Day is this weekend. Chuck Lawless reposted a piece this morning that resonated with me titled “8 Reflections on Being Childless and Celebrating Father’s Day“. I encourage you to check it out.

These greeting card holidays can stir the emotions!

Happy early Father’s Day.

From Across the Net – “Ordinary Work, Extraordinary Opportunity”

When we flew out to California a few weeks back, we encountered a grumpy TSA Agent at our local airport. I’m still not sure why she was acting so rude at 6AM. Maybe she didn’t get her coffee? OR WORSE, maybe she doesn’t drink coffee!?!

But while work may not be exciting and may not be particularly fulfilling, I’ve been struck recently by how much our joy can be improved or eroded by people who work very ordinary jobs. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that ordinary people working ordinary jobs have an extraordinary number of opportunities to improve or erode our joy.