In the depths of Bowser’s Castle, no doubt a plan unfolded most dire.

We must strike back at this free-to-play horde, but how, the Nintendo suits inquired.

We will wrap real money purchases in story, with solid mechanics and feel to boot. We will then rake in all the money, and dance upon our loot.

A dog recruited, yes, he will be their undoing.

We will tell a tale of hardship and tears, of a marriage gone awry. Of puppies in need, mini-games will provide their feed, players can haggle till the pups howl high.

Rusty’s Real Deal Baseball, simple yes, but that is what we will call it.

A herald of games to come, the players will never see it coming.

Note: Nintendo Badge Arcade invaded my 3DS last week. A riff on the popular Japanese crane game genre, Nintendo Badge Arcade features:

• Solid controls/gameplay mechanics.
• Daily Nintendo news and trivia.
• Real money transactions. A dollar for five crane drops/plays.
• Five free practice plays, on the practice machine, per day.
• Nostalgia. Lots of nostalgia.
• A rabbit that is as evil as Tom Nook.

The game boils down to using a crane to grab digital badges to decorate your 3DS menu screen. The badges do nothing else. Nothing. But the badges do look cool.

Nintendo has created a unique formula for the free-to-play market. I shudder though to think of what real money transactions will take place in their upcoming Pokémon GO. Gotta catch them all, right?