While I realize this post is geared towards couples on the mission field, I think that there are universal truths here for all Christian couples. Most of all, I appreciate the honesty.
We don’t talk about sex very much. Sure, we might joke about it (the first working title for this article was The Missionary Position), but we don’t actually talk about it very much. Truth is, most folks are scared to death to have an honest, non-joking, realistic talk about sex. Maybe with a good friend, but with their spouse? Gasp. But the truth is, it matters. It’s not the biggest deal, but it’s a real deal.
I am a boy dad. I thank the Lord for the gift he has given me in my son, Wyatt. The gift that sees that a boys energy and curiosity is normal; The gift that allows me to say that yes, boys are different than girls.
Two years into our marriage, Tabitha and I were driving up Palomar Mountain. I wanted to show her where my Grandpa Ayers used to take my brother and I camping. As we wound our way up the mountain, Tabitha started to feel sick. I wrote it off as car sickness at the time. Elevation + switchback roads = car sickness for some. What I didn’t know, is that on that trip to visit my parents in Southern California, Tabitha was pregnant. I was going to be a dad.
Parenting Wyatt has forced me to wrestle with many things in my life.
My upbringing of growing up in a home where my dad was home 2 days and then gone 2-3 days. I just wanted him home. I wanted his presence. I wanted him without the zombie schedule truck driving demanded.
I am thankful that God brought other men into my life to fill this need. Men like my Grandpa Ayers. He stepped in, for my brother and I, and showed us what it meant to be men. Whether he was reading us Bible stories or telling tales around the campfire; Whether we were hiking with slingshots, flying RC planes, or playing Chess. Grandpa was that escape, for us, from the feminine world of my mom.
I realize now that both my parents did their best… and I’m thankful for the time I had with my Grandpa.
Who I Am As A Husband
There are many stories that I could write here. But the clearest one that comes to mind is of me sitting on the couch, watching TV, while Tabitha is getting herself and Wyatt out the door for the day. Tab was teaching at the time. Wyatt would spend his days with my mother-in-law. I didn’t do a thing, as I watched The Today Show, to help Tab out the door. We were supposed to be a team, and I was failing.
God knew what I needed. Looking back, I am thankful for us having issues with breast feeding. Thankful for the formula, which I once thought was expensive, that allowed me to take on late night feedings. I miss those times of bleary-eyed snuggling. Him watching me, with those blue eyes, in the darkened living room.
Being a dad has forced me to find maturity as a husband. Praise God.
Who I Want To Be As A Dad
At the end of the day, I want to be a dad who:
Listens – I wanted to be able to talk about whatever Wyatt is into, even if that means talking about Pokémon like a scholar.
Plays – Having a family game night, playing through a video game co-op, I want to play with my son.
Reads – Whether reading the Bible or work of fiction, I want my son to hear my voice/see that men read aloud. I miss hearing my Grandpa Ayers read Bible stories.
Prepares – I want to have those difficult conversations. I want to be a dad who talks about puberty, sex, and dating.
For the second week in a row, I’ve made it on the Theology Gaming Podcast. TGN record! This week, I talked with Zach, Justin, and Ted about what games we’ve been playing and The Witcher 3. Sex in videogames? Apparently. I encourage you to give it a listen if you have a chance. Good stuff.
Once upon a time, in a Mushroom Kingdom not too far away, there lived a plumber by the name of Mario. Now Mario spent his days as a one-man rescue unit for Princess Peach, seeing as the Mushroom Kingdom seems perennially inept at defensive measure. Sure, the odd goomba might find itself stomped on occasion, but never did eros love infiltrate the kingdom beyond a chaste kiss. The phileo love of friendship remained the common bond that united all together, including Luigi.
This is the cover of the book when we purchased it. Revisions since have removed the woman and the man from the cover. Poor lonely piano...
Songs in the Key of Solomon is playful, thoughtful, and most of all tries to connect couples at a deeper level. As the title suggests, Songs in the Key of Solomon: In the Word…and in the Mood weaves it’s way through the Biblical book of Song of Solomon (most of the time). At the beginning of each mini-chapter, the daily entry suggests a particular position, place, or action from which to read the entry from. For example, today it suggested that we sit outside our son’s room as we read about how children are a blessing from the Lord. Each chapter also closes with questions for discussion. This morning, one of the questions asked, “what did you enjoy about our lives prior to having children?” Overall, we have enjoyed slowly meandering through this devotional and highly recommend it to others. In fact, we usually give this as a wedding gift. So if your one of our friends who isn’t married, this book is on its way…after ya tie the knot!