Your Feelings Lie

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My pastor said something that has stuck with me:

“Your feelings lie.”

Photo by Ryan Pernofski on Unsplash

Work has been a swirling vortex of condescension, anger, and stress. A tidal wave of not accepting where we are on a project. We’ve been behind for months. Months. And yet at no point has acceptance of this fact been had. No moment of admitting:

  • Hey, we messed up.
  • Yeah, we are behind… BUT let’s move forward, as a team, and do our best.

My feelings have been lying to me; my body absorbing the workplace maelstrom of emotions.

I’m done with feeling stressed towards this project.

I’m done being lied to by my feelings.

If anything, I’m beginning to find the current situation at work humorous.

People have got to chill.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

– Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV)

Prepare to be Stretched

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A long time ago, I almost went to Azusa Pacific University. Finances fell through, reality set in, and I ended with a time where I felt lost. I had just walked away from my first job that I worked at for five years. Life felt unstable. I remember a marketing photo from Azusa that featured a ball of rubberbands. The tagline below the ball was, “Prepare to be stretched.”

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Growth is oftentimes not comfortable. Growth can be painful.

Some eleven years later, I feel lost once again. Caught in some sort of cyclical orbit that I cannot break free from. Since college graduation, Fall 2006, I have been trying to get my bearings. Part of that could be cultural, I live in Texas now versus my native California. Things are different here. The other part of that was thinking that God had called me to be a pastor. I had thought that I would go to seminary after college. First seminary I applied at told me I had too much student debt. The second seminary, which accepted me debt and all, was not to be. As I got ready to select my first classes, we ended up pregnant with my son. Any money for schooling vanished.

Where does one go with the path changes? How does one adapt?

I work as an Office Manager by day. Not the first job I would choose for myself, but I do enjoy the work when we are busy. In my eighth year now, I have no room for growth. I feel trapped.

I find myself wondering what that next step is. Where is God calling me to be? I find myself questioning my faith. I know all the right Christian answers, there is just a head-to-heart disconnect.

God constantly reminds me that He is working though. As waves threaten to sink me, He taps me on the shoulder and says, “hey man, I’ve got this.” I just need to believe it.

Intake

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Kotaku had a random post this week (12/10/09) entitled Pokémon Teaches Your Children To Worship Satan. The post was based on the video below:

The Kotaku post seems clear in its attempt at humor (inadvertently mocking Christianity in the process). Nothing new for the Internet. However, I think that there is depth and truth to this video. Let’s discuss!

1.

Exegesis – critical explanation or interpretation of a text or portion of a text, esp. of the Bible.

Vs.

Eisegesis – an interpretation, esp. of Scripture, that expresses the interpreter’s own ideas, bias, or the like, rather than the meaning of the text.

The preacher/ pastor is preaching based upon his own bias versus actually using scripture to back his claims. Watching this video reminds me of the Christian hysteria over Harry Potter being Satanically inspired. This essentially becomes a conversation over fantasy versus reality. In the case of Harry Potter, examination of the author’s worldview proved that the author had no underlying motives (she wasn’t a Wiccan in disguise) and was instead writing a work of fantasy based fiction.

2. Good points are made on gaming leading to desensitizing kids/ adults. Although, the type of desensitization the pastor uses as an example is a bit extreme.

3. What you take in (your intake) does affect you mentally/ spiritually.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

One of the key thoughts behind JohnnyBGamer is:

Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.

1 Corinthians 6:12 (The Message)

Our intake, whatever form of media, needs to be carefully considered. I know personally that what I listen to (music wise) can effect my mood for the day.

What are your thoughts on the pastor, fantasy vs. reality, Pokémon, and intake?

Comment below!