TARE

Adoption Update – 4/19/2021

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This is one of those issues that I am hesitant to talk about here (it is supposed to be about gaming, mostly, after all, right?). Sure, I have written about our family going through the adoption process. But what does that look like 2 years in? What challenges are we facing as a family?

We took our classes to adopt through the State of Texas in May of 2019. Since then, besides being a part of a few broadcasts–social workers are sent emails with prospective adoptees–, nothing. With COVID settling in this past year it has seemed like everything has shut down and hasn’t awakened… yet.

Without access to broadcasts (have heard nothing from our caseworker), we’ve been stuck. Adoption has gone from a dream, to what felt like a reality, to a thing we only whisper about.

Q: So what does it look like 2 years in?

  • Quiet. Absolute silence. Is our caseworker not doing her job? Is this normal when going through the State? Are we supposed to become foster parents with hopes of adopting later on?

Q: What challenges are we facing as a family?

  • Dealing with the silence. Deciding whether we continue on the adoption journey.

COVID was a really big deal and still is for some. I don’t want to diminish that feeling of helplessness we all felt in March of last year. I also know that it feels like time is ticking for myself. Do we play the State’s game? Do we close our house and give up the adoption dream?

Something says not yet.

Not yet.

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Two weeks ago, I was on the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange (TARE). I came across a young man who I thought would be a good addition to our family. So I emailed our caseworker and asked that she make inquiries. Beyond a simple email back asking for some more information, nothing yet.

And so we wait.

Adoption Update – Level One A

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I was telling Tabitha last night that if adoption were a video game, we have finally reached the first level. The tutorial and character creation process were the initial first steps:

  • PRIDE Training (40 hours of state-mandated classes)
  • FBI Database Fingerprinting
  • Fire Inspection
  • Health Inspection
  • Home Study

With our home study approved, we are now certified by the State of Texas to adopt. We can now put in interest requests through the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange (TARE); we can also now go to meet up events (where you can interact with kids available for adoption) as well as have our caseworker alert us to children available for adoption who are not listed online.

The adoption process is weird. A mixture of buying a home and speed dating. Level One A, of the adoption game, looks like:

  • Looking through pictures of children in an online database
  • Going to a meet up event
  • Our caseworker notifying us of a potential match

After initial inquiries are made, which includes our caseworker “selling” another caseworker on our family via telephone conference (home buying), we then enter the speed dating phase. Level One B includes:

  • Our family driving to whichever region the potential child is located in and then going on a day outing with the child.
  • The following weekend, a follow up over night visit (probably in a hotel room, especially if the child lives out of town) with the child.
  • The following weekend after that, a day trip/overnight visit again?
  • Eventually these visits shift from being on neutral ground to the child coming to our house.

The biggest hurdle of Level One A is going to be finding a match. We have to agree on the match; our caseworker has to agree on the match. Already, we are learning that:

  • It’s good to have a caseworker who says no and is looking out for our family (versus just trying to place a child and move on).
  • That descriptions of children, on TARE, do not include all the details. Sometimes even surprising our caseworker…
  • That there are not a lot of younger kids (ages 7 and younger) up for adoption online.

Bottom Line: We know that God has a child in mind for us. We just have to wait, trust, and talk, as a family, through the adoption process.

I’ll keep y’all updated. Maybe not so much in this Level One A stage… but more IF we make it to Level One B. Prayers are appreciated.

Bryan