Adoption: Life in the In-Between

The Hall Family has been living in the in-between, the “we could be adding to our family soon… or not”, for the past 3 years now. To say that my heart is indifferent, or even calloused, is an understatement. I’m tired of the process of:

  • The caseworker sends us an email with a child’s picture and description of what they are like / what the child needs in a family.
  • We are then asked if we want to put in our home study for said child. I’m going to say, that my wife and I usually (there has been a child or two that would not have been a good fit for our family) say yes, sign us up!
  • And then, we wait. Sometimes hearing something to the effect of, “Sorry, you’re family wasn’t a good fit” or… just silence… nothing.

We have been anticipating, wanting, and waiting for a child for a long time now. Often wondering if our desire to have more children, our dream really, somehow needs to be put to rest. Maybe we just need to give up the adoption process. Throw in the towel. Focus on parenting our one.

Tab and I are really good parents. We want our family to grow.

Wyatt wants our family to grow so that Tab and I are not following him to college, to his first home, etc. Or so we tell him. 🙂

For now, we live in the in-between.

I’ve Had Trouble Getting Into The Wheel of Time… Until Now

Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time series is a book series I have never been able to get into. The wheel turns and I will pick of the first book, read a few chapters, and then I manage to read something else. The first book, the first dabbling into Jordan’s world, feels too much like a The Lord of the Rings wannabe. Or at least that is what the Amazon reviews tell me.

What the online reviews have failed to mention is that Jordan is an excellent author. His world contains just enough uncertainty, just enough unfamiliarity, that one can feel the sinister machinations unfold. I find myself questioning different characters and their motives. I also find the magic system intriguing.

I am currently on page 248, 32% into finishing The Wheel of Time: The Eye of the World. I am loving what I am reading so far. Robert Jordan’s chapter length is long enough to feel like I have accomplished something, by reading a single chapter (or two), before bed.

The wheel keeps turning… and I keep reading on.

Question: What book series has been hard for you to get into?

Why Don’t We Talk About Testosterone?

I’m unsure if I have talked about being on testosterone replacement therapy here before. But every week, I inject myself with testosterone. The results of my injections have been amazing. I feel like myself again.

In October of last year, I went to my first doctors appointment to see if testosterone replacement therapy was right for me. I was suffering from:

  • Mood swings (very irritable)
  • Depression (I did not care at all)
  • And a lack of libido (no interest what so ever)

After finishing presenting my symptoms to my doctor, he immediately said, “You might be a good candidate for testosterone. Let’s run labs and see.”

My blood results came back showing that I did indeed suffer from low testosterone (was at 200, should be at 350 or higher). My mood swings, deep depression, and lack of wanting sex finally had a name. I made an appointment with my doctor’s nurse, where she showed me:

  • How to draw the proper amount of testosterone
  • How to give myself an injection

I’ve been injecting testosterone, according to my doctor’s instructions, ever since that appointment.

Seven months into injections, I can tell you that I’ve seen a difference. I don’t feel as irritable nor as depressed. I feel like wrestling with my son again; I feel like writing again.

I say all of this with the hope that there is someone out there that is feeling the same way that I did. The problem is, as a society, we don’t talk about stuff like this… at all. So begin the conversation, talk to your doctor.

Testosterone injections take time. They are not an end all cure, but they are a start.

Gus and the Tornado

Gus, our dog, was in his crate for the night. He was totally happy to be in the house, out of the dark (he hates the darkness), and in a place where he could chew on his bone in peace. Until he started barking and whining like crazy!

I went down the stairs, into the mudroom, and opened his crate. Gus bolted out and started frantically trying to get up the stairs and into the house. Just then, my wife said that the weather man was calling out streets near our house. Not good.

My family and I ended up taking shelter in the hallway. Gus sheltered with us too. What was funny/interesting is that he chilled out and laid down next to Tab after a few moments. He was happy to be with his family, safe, and didn’t mind getting his ear rubbed either.

Big or small, the tornado was wrapped in the darkness of night. I couldn’t have seen it if I wanted to. Which makes me a little sad. I keep waiting for the The Wizard of Oz-style tornado. But then again, we don’t live in Kansas.

So, what I had thought had started as Gus being annoying turned into him warning us of danger. Or of him wanting to seek shelter among humans. Either way, Gus is a good boy who deserves a treat, or two.

And we are fine. No damage to our house… besides a downed trashcan.

This was from when Gus was a puppy. He is pretty small.