As I posted yesterday, the book Quitter is really make me re-consider different things in my life. Amazingly, Jon Acuff has been able to put into words things that I have thought about but have never been able to articulate.
As we advance in years, I believe that we all wish that we would personally be able to grow and mature with time as well. For some, growth and maturity are unattainable due to personal life choices; for others, growing in maturity and stature are a knowingly made decision.
Before I was married, I had all the time in the world to pursue what I wanted to pursue. If I wanted to go out with friends for coffee at 2am, I could. If I wanted to sit down and play a videogame every evening, for hours on end, I could do so as well. I was a free man and time was all mine.
As I dated and was soon married, my time quickly became our time. No longer did I have the freedom to do what I wanted to do. I had to now take my wife into consideration. What did she want to do? What could we do together? There was nothing wrong or bad about this change in the way I spent my time. Like an onion, I had simply discovered a new layer of personal depth; like an onion, my time had also grown thinner in peeling away that new layer.
The birth of our son set into motion the equation of: my time + our time = his time.
Age, growth and maturity force us to constantly evaluate the things that matter to us. Are we spending our free time pursuing the things that we love or the things that we simply like? This got me thinking about videogames and my constant struggle to figure out where they place in my life. Do I love them or just like them? Are they keeping me from pursuing the things that I love?
A few weeks ago I downloaded the audio book Quitter by Jon Acuff. Ever since then, I have been slowly making my way through the book. As each chapter unfolds, I have found God using it to attack lies I have accepted as truth. Quitter has made me re-realize that:
Our American culture celebrates those who quit their jobs to pursue their dreams. What about those that stay and persevere? What about the day-to-day realities of supporting oneself and family?
Blogging at work, doing anything besides what your paid to do, is stealing from your employer. Not sure I’ve ever thought of it like that, but Jon tells it like it is.
When pursuing a dream, coming up with a plan is not always the first step. Jon talks about the importance of looking at what your passionate over, practicing on that, and then charting out/ planning where you’d like that passion to go. Makes sense to me.
I have really enjoyed what I have listened to so far. I have also enjoyed listening to the book being actually read by the author. Seems to add more authenticity to what is being said.
Spent my Friday (3/16) evening with friends playing Ticket to Ride Europe. I can proudly say that I beat them all that evening with a high score of 147. Not that I am bragging…or proud. 🙂
Last week, I wrote a series on video game addiction. If you haven’t had a chance to read my posts, you can catch up on them here, here and here. This week, I would like to shift gears and talk about another video game related topic, desensitization.
Desensitize – To make a person emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, as by long exposure or repeated shocks. – American Heritage Medical Dictionary
“What are you looking at?”
Sometime in the first grade, Jacob, the next door neighbor boy, invited me and a few other neighbors over for a sleep over birthday party. I remember playing with whatever toys he had received that evening and then watching the movie Aliens. Up until that point, my parents had protected me pretty well. Sure the other neighbor boys, Jeff and Joe, had introduced me to the Jaws film series–which made me seriously afraid of swimming pools and water, especially water.–. Aliens, though, was on a whole new level. Though my memory is a bit fuzzy, I clearly remember heads exploding into pudding-like goo, aliens decimating humans and a woman fighting to protect a little girl. To make matters worse, after watching the movie we slept outside, in a tent, in the backyard. Away from parents and terrified, one of the neighbor boys, Jeff, left at 2am and walked home. I struggled to sleep that night.
The media that we consume, whether it is of the interactive nature such as video games or more passive such as a film, serves to desensitize our very souls. With each repeated gameplay session/ viewing, we further and further become numb to that which at one time terrified us. The soul begins to develop callouses as a learning and as a defense mechanism. Subconsciously and consciously, we then seek out the next thrill, the next experience that will only ultimately numb us from whatever level of violence or emotion we just encountered.
This week, I’d like to talk a bit more on this subject of desensitizing our souls. To share my personal stories, those of others and examine whether this innocence lost is simply a rite of passage or somehow a good thing. I invite you to join me in this conversation in either the comments section below, Twitter or via email.
Note (3/21/12): I would like to take a bit more time to think through this topic. Expect a re-visit sometime in the near future. Again, if you have any thoughts please feel free to share. Thanks!
The alarm read 3am. I felt like I had awoken from a nightmare. I had just fallen asleep 4 hours earlier. Even in my groggy state, I knew that a few hours of darkness laid between me and sleep once more. 96.4 miles to be exact between South Bend, Indiana and the Chicago O’Hare Airport in Illinois. I had a 7am flight to catch and it was time to get up.
Rewind: Friday, March 9, 2012
My friend Jon and I had flown into Chicago, Friday morning, for our friend Jeremy’s wedding. Jon was the best man and I was “also” the best man. Seriously, that was how the wedding program read. The last of the three amigos from LeTourneau University was about to get married.
Jon and I spent a chunk of Friday traveling, picking up/ trying on tuxes (my pants were M.C. Hammer-ish, thankfully I got this fixed) and attending the wedding rehearsal/ rehearsal dinner. The wedding rehearsal was uneventful. Well, besides the two nephews that were having fun running around. Family and friends looked on as we practiced walking, standing and trying to be quiet. The wedding coordinator, Lynn, even placed tape on the carpet so that we would know exactly where to stand–she did an amazing job!–. The rehearsal dinner afterwards was held at Tippecanoe Place in historic South Bend. I have to say that it was quite impressive! Being from Southern California, I was most impressed that the restuarant featured a place where one could check-in their coats. I’ve seen stuff like that in the movies! Guess movies don’t lie.
After dinner, we took the groom out for a night of wild debauchery. By which I mean go-karts, miniature golf, bowling and a nightcap at Steak and Shake. Good times were had and wisdom was bestowed.
Just don't ask...
Saturday, March 10, 2012: D-Day
Jon and I got up Saturday morning and went out hunting for car “decorating” supplies. We weren’t too successful. Luckily, the bride’s parents were awesome enough to have bought a few choice “supplies” (Alissa, it was your parents fault!). After that, we went and picked up some re-fitted tuxes and headed to the church.
Stained glass, wooden pews and candlelit lanterns. Beautiful.
From 12pm till about 4pm, we took wedding pictures. If I learned anything from my own wedding it is that it is of utmost importance to do this beforehand. The bride and groom were very wise to do this. Kudos!
The wedding started at 4:30pm and was absolutely beautiful. I loved the hymns that were sung, the father of the groom officiating the ceremony, and the bride and groom wiping away each-other’s tears. It was a sweet time of praising God for His faithfulness and for bringing Jeremy and Alissa together.
After watching my traveling companion, Jon, get married a little over a year earlier, I felt that this was somehow the end of an era. All three of us, Jon, Jeremy, and I were now married. Each of us have found a companion to walk through life with.
Evening Blur
The wedding reception was elegant and filled with filet mignon. I was a happy man. Speeches were given, dances were danced and I almost caught my shirt on fire. Never stand too close to a candle!
The sanctioned rain of birdseed greeted the newlyweds as they dashed for their car. Humorously, someone had forgotten to unlock the car… which gave the groom’s nephew enough time to pelt his new bride square in the back with a small bag of birdseed.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
“Beep, beep, beep!”
And like that, the weekend was over. It was time for Jon and I to travel in reverse.
The memories I have of my weekend in Indiana are ones that I won’t soon forget. God used this weekend to remind me that I am not alone. That I do indeed have life friends who are just scattered across the country. I am resolved not to let these friends slip away but to actively pursue them. Even if that means only meeting up once a year.
Indiana, thank you for a good time. As a somewhat wise man once said, “Good morning, good evening, and good night.”
JohnnyBGamer 