I appreciate this post by Tim Challies on friendship. There is nothing like a friend who can tell you to snap out of it and quit being a jerk.
“We ought to pursue friendships not just for what we can gain from the relationship, but for what we can give.“
Often the best way to gain objectivity is to appeal to a friend for an outside perspective. It may be that each of us appeals to a personal friend or that together we appeal to a mutual friend. But either way, a close friend is able to listen, to evaluate, and to offer guidance. Some of the best counsel I’ve gotten from friends is of the “you need to stop being a jerk” variety. Friends have helped me better love those I love most.
A few weeks ago, a potential consultant dropped by the office wanting to introduce himself and his work.
Him: “Good morning. I’m so-and-so. I have a meeting with so-and-so. Do you have something I can plug into the TV and access Dropbox with? I want to be able to show my work.”
Me: “Sure. I’ll be able to help you with that.”
My boss came into the conference room at this point, shut the door, and started the meeting. I went back to my desk and proceeded to unplug my laptop for this person to use. Figured I could sacrifice an hour of not working, right? As I was about to unplug my first cable, I thought, “Why should I give up my laptop when this person is clearly not prepared for this meeting?” So, I did nothing.
The meeting moved along and there was no further mention of needing a device to look at work samples.
Side Note: I work in a visual profession. Not bringing visual items to look over = a massive mistake.
Got me thinking that when you come for a meeting, you need to be prepared. You need to bring your own device to showcase your own work; need to bring work that makes you look amazing. Being prepared puts a spotlight on the fact that you value the other person’s time and understand what is needed to put your best foot forward.
Scar, in the Lion King, sang it best, “Be prepared!”
I’m not sure I knew what to expect when my son was born. Years of watching television and film had distorted my thoughts. Scenes where the happy couple, wife exhausted, cry and share this new family bond were the norm. Right?
Now I know that my son’s birth experience wasn’t typical. He was born early. My wife had to have an emergency c-section. I was more worried about her than my son.
About the time they pulled him out, she started to feel dizzy. The doctor’s weighed Wyatt and then rushed him out of the room. No emotional moment here. My wife and I were alone, again.
If I could tell expecting dads one thing:
Do not beat yourself up if you do not experience this grand moment of feeling. That insta-bond/love singing from the highest heavens moment doesn’t happen for everyone. And that is okay.
Took me awhile to overcome the shock of being a dad. My wife and I were no longer alone. The little dude’s screaming confirmed this.
Love often takes time, so do not feel guilty when you don’t have the feels. They’ll come.
Today I am off the JBG campus and over at Theology Gaming. Check out the additional response I received for the videogame relationship survey (A3). The closing line is a keeper:
Keep on gaming (and crafting stuff in World of WarCraft continuously! I need new stuff!).
With the magic of the internet, you can visit Theology Gaming with this nifty link!
