JohnnyBGamer

Masks

I used to write with some frequency. The more people who came to read my blog, especially those who I am friends with in physical space, the more I felt like I couldn’t be myself. I became careful, almost cautious of what I was sharing. Part of me felt like I had to put up a front, a mask if you will, to project an image I thought people wanted to read and see. I began to write less and less. Dropping any personal vulnerability and focusing more on general items. This alarmed me. Writing is my outlet, a window to an inner world of thoughts rarely spoken.

“How can we be loved if we are always in hiding?” – Donald Miller, Scary Close (p140)

I have always been insecure with who God made me to be. Perhaps this is a fault. I have issues accepting God’s grace and forgiveness, even though I know that they are real. I find it easier to mentally beat myself up than accept something I cannot grasp. Wrestling with faith is not easy but necessary.

This is where I am today. I want to write. Be myself. Embrace who Christ has created and called me to be. Not worrying what others think, what their perception is of me. I am created with a purpose and a unique voice. I am tired of the negative thinking. I am tired of fear. Today I want to be free.

Blame the parents, if you can

Got up and went to the dentist this morning. Have had a tooth that has been bothering me that I wanted to get checked out. Turns out there was nothing wrong with the tooth in question. The dentist did tell me to quit clenching my teeth down, while at work, and that I should check into consulting an orthodontist. I then told the dentist that it was all my parents fault. That they should have paid for me to have braces. Of course I was joking, not sure the dentist took it that way. Had to explain myself. Oh well.

Sitting here listening to the rain hit the windows. Kind of a dreary day outside. Has rained non-stop. Wouldn’t surprise me if we have gotten 3-4 inches by the time this storm system has blown through.

Work has been slow lately. We currently have a bunch of projects on the horizon (April/May-ish) but a lot of prep work in the meantime. Trying to busy myself with lower tier office items that I neglect when we are running in full swing.

Not a bad day over all. How are things with you?

Miyamoto Quote

I think what’s really the most ideal thing is for the player themselves, within their own imagination, to carve out what they view as being the essence of the character. – Shigeru Miyamoto

2 Timothy 2:23-26

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. ²⁴And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. ²⁵Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. – 2 Timothy 23-26 (NIV) (Bolded emphasis, mine. Thought this went along with what I wrote yesterday.)

Abuse of Power

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. – 2 Timothy 1:7

I think that Christians often follow parts of the above verse found in 2 Timothy. We read it as a green light to go forth and speak our minds with power–we will squash you fools!–. Our failure is that we do not live out the second part of the verse, the part that talks about acting with love and self-discipline. Yes, brothers and sisters in Christ, God gives us power that is only balanced with love and self-discipline. This means that we can be bold in talking about our faith with others as long as it is done through the lens of love and keeping ourselves in check, by the Spirit.