The Bonkers Lincoln Lawyer

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Tab and I dove into The Lincoln Lawyer last night on Hulu. We figured Matthew McConaughey + courtroom drama = win, right?

In the far off land of Los Angeles, Matthew McConaughey is defense lawyer Mick Haller. Mick has figured out a scheme most Angelenos would balk at in an instant, he works out of his Lincoln. Mobile, free from having to pay property taxes or outrageous SoCal real estate costs, Mick is the man. Until one day, Reese Witherspoon’s ex-husband, Ryan “Pretty Boy” Phillippe, hires Mick. Turns out the rich white dude Ryan is playing (Louis Roulet) has been accused of beating up/trying to rape a woman and kill her. BUT SHE LIVED!

A bunch of other stuff happens. Ryan (playing Louis) turns out to be evil. SPOILER! McConaughey, being the top dog that he is, plays the game and brings him down. Also, JUSTICE!

The biggest crime in The Lincoln Lawyer isn’t the films plot but the way it hands out small amounts of screen time to amazing actors. I’m still trying to figure out why Bryan Cranston is in this movie. And what about William H. Macy? And future Aunt May (Marisa Tomei)?

I was good with the movie up until it’s 11th hour super conspiracy theory reveal and biker beat up. But the smoggy Los Angeles landscape made me miss my home state. Take a deep breath… cough, cough, cough. Ah, asthma.

Final Note: Someone please tell Matthew to stop pointing with his middle finger? It’s rude.

THE END

What’s your favorite McConaughey courtroom drama?

Lessons From L.A. Noire

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The deeper I have delved into the darkside of Los Angeles, the more unfocused things have become.

With nine cases under my belt, I find myself currently working the Vice Desk. So far, in my career with the LAPD, I have learned:

  1. All African Americans want to be like Shaft. Now I know that this game takes place in 1947, which is nowhere near 1971’s Shaft,  but just hear me out. The African Americans in L.A. Noire are cool kats who enjoy stringing the f-word together in unique and creative ways. They be hustlers yo!
  2. My police captain, who is Irish, is a foul-mouthed man who enjoys marrying religious imagery with the f-word. He also seems to have a penchant for drinking. Who would have thought?
  3. Driving at high speeds and narrowly missing other cars is not a way to lose your license. If anything, as long as you don’t scratch the paint, you’re a war hero.
  4. Perpetrators are going to run. You are going to have to chase after them. End of story.
  5. If you visit a location once chances are you are going to visit that same location again. The second time you visit though things will fall apart and general chaos will ensue. Trust me.
  6. Rain makes everything moodier and noir-ish.
  7. Just when you think you are rid of one foul-mouthed partner, another one comes along. Kind of like real life.
  8. The City of Los Angeles has always been a seedy place.