JohnnyBGamer

Embrace the Calories

It is easy to find oneself lost in routine. Getting up, getting ready, and spending the day at work. Seeing family at lunch and then through the evening. The Texas summer heat serving to bake the daily routine into a stale, dry loaf.

I’m a creature of routine. I thrive in knowing what is going to happen. But I also think I dislike routines. We are all living paradoxes in some way.

Driving down the same streets everyday, I find myself desiring change. I feel stuck in the things I know, the places I’ve seen. So I’ll switch up my routine, drive down a different street, show my brain something new for the day.

Saw an article on twitter the other day, all I read was the headline:

“Are You Taking Your Family For Granted?”

The familiar, the routine, can cause us all to take things for granted, especially our relationships.

Last night, with my son gone at Vacation Bible School (VBS), my wife and I decided to go to dinner. Earlier in the day, she texted me and asked, “Are we going on a date?”

A date…

What had originally just been a meal out without the kid suddenly became something different.

A date!

Dates are exciting. Dates require thinking about what to wear, where to go, and being intentional in conversation. I found myself a bit out of practice (I can be honest here, right?). But I found out what my wife has been reading (she reads a ton). We dreamed. Tab and Wyatt will be studying California history this next semester. So we talked about where we want to visit when we visit California next. Just being with my wife, reconnecting with her on a date, was amazing. Dates always remind me of why I married Tab (like I need that reminder… but sometimes I do).

Breaking a routine means doing something out of the ordinary. A mid-week date for us was the perfect shake-up. I only wish we had ordered the Confetti Pizookie. When you live you might as well go all the way and embrace the calories.

Grand Adventures Squashed

Last night at bed time:

“What did you do while I was gone?” Said the boy with a hint of accusation embraced by curiosity.

“I played with your toys, ate candy, and had fun.”

His face told me that he didn’t buy that answer.

“Let’s see, I reinstalled the light cover on the light above the kitchen sink. I installed new mini blinds in the kitchen window. And I also had to work on the kitchen sink plumbing because suddenly the sink was leaking all over the floor.”

I’m not sure he liked that response. I kind of squashed the illusion of Tab and I being off on some grand adventure while he is away.

Oh well. At least I got a few things done. Amazing what one can do when their child is away at Vacation Bible School.

Adventure Is Out There – A Visit With The Arkansas Halls

This past Friday, the Texas Halls took a trip to Norfork, Arkansas to see my brother and his family (the Arkansas Halls).

We had a good time:

Exploring the Blanchard Springs Caverns. I found it interesting to hear that the man who did the lighting for the caverns normally lit opera houses for a living. I also thought it was interesting that the Cathedral Room is long enough to hold three football fields. If you are ever in the Ozarks, I can’t recommend visiting the Blanchard Springs Caverns enough.
Sticking our feet in the White River/Norfork Lake junction. The water was freezing! Felt so good.
Eating some BBQ at Holy Smokes in Mountain Home, Arkansas. BBQ isn’t quite what I’m used to in Texas but the sauce was solid. The smoked macaroni and cheese–while good–screams for some bacon.
Mowing my brother’s yard on his new riding lawn mower.
Hanging out, swimming, talking, and launching fireworks.

I enjoyed getting to catch up with my brother and his family. Was fun to see where they live now and experience a little taste of their new surroundings. We will return… once my brother fixes his go-kart!

Drowning Mr. Fox in Celluloid

I was first introduced to the work of Roald Dahl when a summer school teacher decided to read James and the Giant Peach aloud. This introduction was memorable to me for two reasons:

Dahl’s words put my young imagination into overdrive. Who would have ever thought that a story about a group of insects, a boy, and a giant peach could be that amazing?
Listening to Mr. Cook read James and the Giant Peach aloud was the first time I had ever heard a man read a book, of that length, aloud. My Grandpa Ayers would later read books aloud to my siblings and I on camping trips. I loved it when he read (especially Bible stories). There is power when men read aloud to children.

My summer with Mr. Cook and James and the Giant Peach would eventually come to an end. Over the years, I would bump into Dahl’s work on the occasion, such as when the movie Matilda came out —Matilda was a favorite of my Grandpa Ayers, he would jokingly tell my cousins that he was going to take them to the chokey–.

Wyatt and I discovered Dahl’s The BFG a few years ago. I was surprised by how well the book read as it mixes horror elements with made up words and fart jokes. We also read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory soon after. Which was a fun book to read as I had only experienced Wonka in film.

This past Fall, Wyatt and I read Fantastic Mr Fox. This book was both a delight and a surprise to come across. Fantastic Mr Fox is about three farmers, Boggis, Bunce, and Bean growing tired of Mr Fox stealing from them. So they wage an all out war/assault on Mr Fox and his house. Mr Fox ends up losing a body part but ultimately strikes back with a masterful plan. The book is told in a straightforward fashion and is hilarious to read aloud due to Dahl’s use of words. Fantastic Mr Fox is so good read aloud that my brother-in-law, who was staying with us at that time, would sit and listen.

Summer has been baking East Texas, so Tab and Wyatt picked up the movie version of the book the other day. Now there are solid movie adaptations of books, such as Steven Speilberg’s The BFG, and there are horrid film versions that just need to die. Wes Anderson’s The Fantastic Mr. Fox is a travesty. The film unsuccessfully mashes Wes Anderson’s typical character template and storytelling tropes with Dahl’s Fantastic Mr Fox. Tabitha, Wyatt, and I kept looking at each other wondering what was going on. Bits and pieces of Fantastic Mr Fox were present in the film but were drowned out by Anderson’s style and artistic story license. We were all very disappointed and thankful we had rented the movie from the library.

I noticed, in the movie, that anytime the animals were going to say a bad word, they’d say the word “cuss” instead. The Fantastic Mr. Fox is a great big bowl of cuss. But don’t let that keep you from reading Roald Dahl’s classic with your kids.

Maybe one day a director will do Fantastic Mr Fox justice.

JBG Rewind – Should Men Put Video Games Away As “Childish Things” For Their Wives / Girlfriends?

I wrote this piece back in 2014. Four years later, I still do not think that this is healthy situation, no matter the hobby. – Bryan

This tale is as old as 1989.

Boy meets girl. Girl dislikes boys hobby. Boy gives up hobby for girl. Girl gives up nothing. Swap the genders; swap the roles. Rinse. Wash. Dry.

I have known countless guys who have given up their favorite hobby due to a spouse or girlfriend disapproving– I am sure that this is true for the female species as well. Once upon a time, these guys enjoyed playing video games. They used them to drop stress levels, rest, and relax. For some reason though, chemistry, the alignment of the stars, who knows, they end up coupling with someone who disapproves/looks down upon their hobby. So they have to quit, have to walk away from something they love, to be in love.

I just don’t get it. If you are in a loving relationship, your spouse or girlfriend should accept you for who you are. They shouldn’t be out to change fundamental parts that make up you. Sure, your bad habit of tossing clothes on the floor may need to be corrected, because let’s face it, your mom always cleaned up after you. Too personal? Sorry.

Video games are often seen as a less mature hobby than following a team of guys in tight fitting clothing. Huh? How is it that working on cars, following a sports team, or going hunting are somehow more respectable and less “little boy”? A hobby is a hobby. Video games are no worse than stamp collecting. Except that unlike a stamp collection, video games deal with:

Complex realities
Connecting players through interdependent activities
Challenging players with complex decision making

My wife has been accepting of my hobby from the get go. She encourages me to sit down and play games. She realizes that I often use video games to de-stress. As long as I am not playing World of Warcraft (the marriage killer), I’m golden. This does not mean that I play games every day of the week. Gaming for me, married, with a kid, looks more like a couple of hours a week. Some nights, my wife even joins me. I’ve always appreciated that about her. She loves me for who I am.

I am tired of those around me feeling guilt, having to change, just to conform to the person they love. If you are in a loving healthy relationship, your significant other will understand the healthy hobbies you chose to pursue.

Note: My friend Scott reminds me that the picture I painted above is painted by an individual who is loving, mature, and self-controlled–most of the time. Video games, as with any hobby, can be distorted and abused in the hands of an undisciplined individual. In order not to feed into the video game stigma your wife/girlfriend might view the hobby through, Scott suggests setting some ground rules:

Be mindful of your wife/girlfriend, even though the game demands attention.
Always be ready to pause. Pretty much everything is more important than your next in-game checkpoint, so put the controller down if you need to.
Tell her how long you intend to play – and stick to the plan.

No matter the hobby, communication and respect are foundational to building healthy relationships. I want to encourage you to let go of any video game guilt you might carry, set some healthy ground rules, and game on.

I also wrote a follow up piece to this from the female perspective.