Cancer Benefits

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There is nothing quite like paying someone not to listen to you.

Me: “We need to do something different. The diabetes medicine is triggering my IBS. I’m at the point where it is affecting my work.”

Doctor: “Did you know that the drug you are on has benefits for preventing cancer?”

Me: “What? I’m in the bathroom at least 4 hours a day, every few days, because of this medicine.”

Doctor: “I wish I was on the diabetes medicine you are on just for its cancer preventing abilities alone.”

Me: “You have diabetes?”

Doctor: “No, but the cancer benefits.”

Photo by Abby Anaday on Unsplash

*The above conversation is slightly exaggerated but not too far off from the actual conversation.

After weeks of dealing with side effects from my diabetes drug, I had hoped for a new path of treatment. Instead, I was told that I am:

Doctor: “You’re doing good. Keep taking the medicine.”

So frustrating to waste time and pay someone not to listen to me. All the while they are messing with medication, and my health.

I’m hunting for a new primary care doctor. I shouldn’t have to feel like I am fighting against a domineering/non-listening doctor who doesn’t care whether I am sicker than a dog or not.

Full of It

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My intestines won’t stop moving. I feel like a punching bag. The sides of my stomach hurt. I have no idea why. Living with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is debilitating.

The first time IBS found me was in elementary school. I remember running around the house, clutching my stomach, screaming. My parents didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do. A few uncomfortable medical procedures later, nothing.

High school was an IBS nightmare. The thing about IBS is that it can sneak up on you in a moments notice. Forcing you into an immediate posture of porcelain throne worship. I remember a friend telling me that it was all in my head. That I was the one causing it.

I remember a distinct feeling of wishing I could transfer my IBS to someone else. If they could only feel what my body does to me, they would know that I am more of a hostage to something far bigger.

The Apostle Paul talks about a thorn in the flesh in 2 Corinthians. I have always related to that.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

I have wondered if God gave me IBS as a way to keep me humble, focused on Him. In times of an attack, I pray for God’s strength to get through those moments.

My thorn in the flesh is not visible nor is it logical. I can’t tell when it is going to come and visit next. But I have learned to notice when my body is tightening up; I have learned that exercise helps reduce stress. God has taught me to rely on His strength when I have none. I just need to rely on Him when I am running at full capacity.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:10

Game on, dear friends. Game on.