“Like a ship at sea, you will be tested, and the storms will reveal the weak places in you as a man. They already have. How else do you account for the anger you feel, the fear, the vulnerability to certain temptations? Why can’t you marry the girl? Having married, why can’t you handle her emotions? Why haven’t you found your life’s mission? Why do financial crises send you into a rage or depression? You know what I speak of. And so our basic approach to life comes down to this: we stay in what we can handle, and steer clear of everything else. We engage where we feel we can or we must–as at work–and we hold back where we feel sure to fail, as in the deep waters of relating to our wife or our children, and in our spirituality.” – Fathered By God, John Eldredge, pp 6 and 7