Overwhelmed, Tired, Angry, Scared, Frustrated and Certainly Not Caffeinated

As a blogger, I often write posts that end up being tossed into the void known as the “draft folder”. Perhaps I wasn’t comfortable publishing the particular post at the time or maybe even felt that it was too personal . The last thing I want for JohnnyBGamer to become is a place for me to serve cheese and whine (even if it is potentially of a high quality). With that being said, below is a post I wrote sometime back in September. Back then, I was on the verge of having my gallbladder taken out. I think the title says it all.

The world feels as if it is grinding to an abrupt stop and I am not holding onto anything in order to brace myself. I feel unsteady on my feet, vulnerable to damage. Financial pressures lap at my legs like a cold pond in October. Which for some reason reminds me of birds migrating south for the winter. Isn’t that how life is. One moment we are flying free, traveling forward, unaware of the hunter’s standing below ready to fire.

My thoughts are dripping out like my coffee maker sputtering its last molecules of java into the pot. It seems that my visit to the surgeon yesterday has done nothing to help me focus today. Not that I thought that the visit would bring about any sort of epiphany. I do know now that I will soon be parting with a friend I have had all my life; a friend who is no longer pulling his weight. My gallbladder has got to go.

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like you stepped out the door at the wrong time? The skies suddenly opening up with a down pouring rain, destroying the hair and the clothing you spent so much time on. Certainly one of those days where it would have been better to just stay in bed. I kind of feel like that today.

We all have our ups and downs. Days where we feel that our lives have amounted to very little. In a way, on days like today, we, I, exchange the truth for a lie. We forget about all that we have accomplished and focus on the things we have yet to attain.

To think that I thought it prudent to excuse my morning cup of coffee this morning.